Feb 04, 2024
Why do some of the things we want so badly to do, fill us with fear? Sometimes crippling fear, that leads to the complete inability to process, to make decisions or to take even the smallest of steps forward.
Remember back to when you were a small child, as young as you can feel back to… were you afraid of things then or did you just do them, because you wanted to, without a thought or a care in the world?
We are born with only two fears - the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises… which means everything else that we are afraid of is a learned response. It’s a protective mechanism that our subconscious decided at some point that we needed, in an attempt to avoid an wanted outcome. Giving in to fear and backing away from whatever action or situation it represents only increases its hold on us for the next time.
So if fear is a result of catastrophizing an outcome based on some previous experience, the only way to overcome it would be to prove it wrong this time, either by fighting for a different result or by giving the unwanted outcome less power.
You see the fear isn’t in the situation itself, but in the expected outcome. When we were children we didn’t have a care in the world and we certainly didn’t think about the consequences of our actions - that kicked in if/when we repeatedly got hurt, or more likely got into trouble! Slowly we were programmed to fear the repercussions of doing things that we REALLY still wanted to do. Because if we didn’t want to do it, we wouldn’t be afraid, we would simply walk away and do something else.
So it’s time to reprogram ourselves, to go back to the innocent wonder of childhood and start living life like the outcome isn’t the most important thing - because it isn’t. Living is the most important thing and when we avoid things we want to do we are not truly living. We’re missing out on the joy of life because something might not go the way we want it to. But how much control do we have over how things turn out? And who are we to think that we know what the best outcome would be anyway?
And so let’s think about this from a different point of view - what if you are wrong? What if the Universe has your back and the result is unbelievably better than you could ever imagine? Even if the initial outcome might be disappointing or even devastating, what if over time that very outcome was the catalyst to the very best life you could possibly imagine? And you might never be able to join the dots and connect one with the other, you might never know that this is what you HAD to do to get everything you want and more. Can you trust that what is meant to be will come to you and that everything is leading you in the right direction? Can you let go of your need to control the outcome and just do the thing?
If you don’t do it, you might be able to avoid the fear, for now, but at what cost? You will know you let yourself miss out on the chance for something that you really wanted. And maybe a bigger confrontation will come up and force you to get out of that comfort zone, because change is necessary and life isn’t lived in a comfort zone.
I’m in this with you… I have been avoiding something hard for a long time. I have a sick feeling in my stomach just thinking about doing it because I ‘know’ from past experience that, regardless of the outcome, it’s going to cause some push back that I feel like I don’t have the strength to deal with. And honestly, I’m not even really concerned with the outcome any more, I just want a decision to be made by a neutral party, so that I can move on, knowing that I am not being lied to or controlled or manipulated any more. So this time I’m going to honour myself and do it, so that I can put it behind me forever.
Yes, I’m scared… yes, I would rather just keep going and hope it will go away… and it probably would, for a while… but not for good… and I want it to be over for good…
So know that I’m with you, I support you and you deserve this… you are strong enough… you can do it… and whatever the outcome, it will be a step in the right direction, on your path to what you truly deserve.