Fight or Let Go?

I struggle with this all.the.time! The urge to stand up and make sure that MY truth is heard. To stand up for what’s right, what’s fair. Sometimes it’s not about the final outcome, it’s just about being heard and seen, because justice and karma are everyone's birthright.

In my personal journey I fought so hard for fair, for justice, for nearly four years, and it broke me over and over again. But looking back, would I do it differently? I don’t think so. It was my survival mode. I had to be able to live with the outcome and knowing I did everything I could was the only way I could live with the outcome, even though it still wasn’t fair or just. 

And now, for the second time in only 5 years, I’m being asked to review and compromise even more. How is it that I am once again being expected to allow someone who already has everything and wants for nothing, to take even more from me? And yet, this time I’m considering it… I can’t afford to just agree to their terms, even though I really want to just be able to walk away, because I have found a peace that is worth protecting.

When you start learning to look after yourself, to practice self love and self care, you are able to view things differently. Priorities change. You will understand that other people don’t care about your truth, so the need to be heard fades. You will want to let go without a fight because it’s not about survival anymore. 

So what to do when you can’t do nothing?! The answer is to do nothing! For a moment at least. Don’t react, don’t rush straight in, guns blazing, because you know you can’t just lay down… just for now stop and take a breath. Sleep on it for a day or two, allow it time to sit with you, recover from the initial shock of the fight that has been brought to your door.

And as you allow a little time to pass (and I’m not talking about procrastinating or burying your head in the sand and ignoring everything for weeks!)  you may find you come up with multiple solutions - some that involve fighting back and others that don’t. They may not all be worth considering for long but you will see different options and different outcomes. For each of these options, quiet your mind and feel into them. Feel how they sit with you, what parts of them are comfortable and what parts feel unbearably heavy? Where in your body do you feel that weight? 

If it’s in your gut that’s a message from your intuition. If you feel it in your heart that’s a willingness to let go from a place of love, which still hurts. If it’s in your throat, you are feeling the need to act even though it is uncomfortable for you. If it’s in your head, you haven’t fully gotten your mind around the solution or there might be some details that need to be tweaked.

So, be gentle with yourself, and allow yourself time to do what is right for you. Discuss it with your trusted support circle, they may give you new suggestions or ideas to consider, but don’t put too much value on what other people tell you to do. The people who are really there for you will support whatever decision you make and it is important that you take control and own your decisions, 

And when you make your decision, you get to choose how you feel about it. Do you let it upset you and bring you down, or do you decide to trust that, without knowing exactly what is happening and why, it will be for your best outcome in the long run. It can be hard to be positive in a seemingly negative situation, but by releasing the outcome you can more easily hold your space. It’s a choice and you can choose to protect your energy and not let someone else have the power to dim your light, beautiful one. 

Follow this LINK to a guided meditation I have created to help you feel into what your body is telling you.

Personally, I’m still in the pause stage… I want to find a way to make it work, but I know I need to engage, so I am taking time to feel into the right way for me to do that. But this time the fight doesn’t scare me, because I don't see it as a fight; it's me finally standing up for myself, for what's right, in my strength. I am not the same person who barely survived in the past; I am coming from a place of healing this time, not a place of wounding and although I obviously have a preferred outcome, the outcome is not as important as the process and I am trusting the process. 

Here for you with strength and support 

XOXO